lifestyle

Taking It Back To Basics With Some Learned Lessons.

life lessons

Life lessons. The realisation that I’m not perfect and definitely not as strong as I try to convince myself and others of being. – But also that this is ok.

I know I’m not alone when I say that I have no clue where the years have gone. I feel sometimes that I blinked and my twenties disappeared. I’m not old, far from it, but then I’m not twenty-two like I sometimes believe I am. I have responsibilities. A husband. A near four-year-old. A home.

Blogging over the last five years has been a saving grace through many troubled times. Becoming a full-time mummy for the last three and a half years, blogging became my time out. A space for myself. The opportunity to keep my mind alive.

However, I became lost pretty quickly within the world of blogging. Unsure of my direction/niche, SEO is a minefield added with no real blogging ‘friends’ to turn to. Reading blogs became my teacher and it still is but in a different way.

 


How I Got Here.


Blogging also became a slight downfall to me. A lack of confidence can be both boosted or squashed rather quickly within such a world. I self-doubted and still do from time to time. Instead of being my own cheerleader I became my own troll. Comparing myself to blogs and bloggers around me.

In a time where I was already a little lost after the death of both my parents, giving birth for the first time and fighting (without the prescribed tablets) depression – I began to lose my way, my mind and who I was. Chasing some dream of blogger cliches.

Another loss within my family, with an attached panic attack and reality appeared. A good ole’ shake and dose of ‘WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!’  – I’m thirty-three years old. Not twenty-two. Yes, I have responsibilities, but who doesn’t. Mine are my future and I need to nurture them, not see them as a selfish distraction.

Life lessons,


Personal Life Lessons I’ve Learned.


  • Makeup has never really been my thing. I have no idea about brands/new releases/how to contour. That’s just me. I don’t need to allow myself to feel bad or inadequate for not knowing. I like quick and simple and that makes me feel good. I wrote about Why I’m Not A Beauty Blogger.
  • Traveling the world may be some peoples wish. Of course, Santorini is very picturesque and it’s only natural to feel a bit green-eyed with envy when you see people waking up in these ‘perfect’ destinations. However, I personally feel there’s so much to see and learn about here in the UK. We have three countries at our fingertips. So much history. Granted it’ll always be our random weather that makes you wanderlust, but I intend to experience and love what we have.
  • I’m not invincible. We all need downtime. Time to recharge. Time to breathe. It’s also not a sign of weakness to step away or to ask for help. Having that earlier panic attack made me realise this. I’ve made a few minor changes, with one being just ten minutes of meditation every day. I personally use the Calm app on my phone. Plus, first thing on a morning, I won’t check my phone until I’ve drunk my Ginger Tea.
  • Fast fashion. I’ve been very guilty in the last three years of following trends and then regretting it. It may be ‘new in’. You may see many people rocking it. However, if it doesn’t work for you or you’re unsure, you don’t ‘have to’ buy it. It doesn’t make you a fashion failure. I’ve realised recently that I much prefer pieces of clothing that are simple, plain and versatile. This doesn’t make me boring. This is my style. It fills me with a sense of calm and harmony with myself finally knowing this.
  • I’m a person of very few close friends. The friends you do everything with, who you hear from or speak to every day. I’ve lost touch with people over the years. I didn’t attend uni and job choices within a male orientated sector have meant that I’ve not forged some of the female friendships that others have. But I’d really like to. Being part of the blogging community has been a little scary, being quite female dominated, as I’m not used to it. I’ve begun to step out of my comfort zone, reach out to people and try to get to know people. I intend to continue doing this. This space is a big part of my life and it’s great to find and become friends with people that share that passion, amongst other things like: 90’s music, chick flicks, sports, eating, cake and cars. (If any of those take your fancy get in touch.)

 

This year will be about me. Of course my family too. But me being me – Not being who I think I need to be, or buy and like what I think I should.

We make our own perfect and we make our own happiness.

12 Comments

  • Louise

    Such an emotive and personal post Caroline. I think one of the great benefits of being in your thirties as opposed to your twenties is a great sense of self. Also, it doesn’t mean you have to leave everything from your 20s behind, within reason of course!

    I look forward to hopefully meeting up with you again this year x

    • crelgey

      Thank you Louise. I’m so happy it’s been well received. I’ve thought before of adding a bit more personal to my blog. Just a little, to maybe help people know a little more about me, but I’m quite a closed book on some subjects. – I agree, I’m loving where I am at the moment, in life and with my blog, it’s taken a while though. 🙂 – Looking forward to seeing more of you this year too. x

  • Kel

    I really loved this post . . . I too found myself caught up in what I thought I *should* be doing as a blogger… which was really at odds with being thirty-something with a pair of kids and no real interest in make up! It can be tricky to find that right path for yourself – – – but I think you do that brilliantly with your blog 😀 Reay looking forward to seeing how it develops in 2017 xx

    • crelgey

      It’s silly when you think about it, being grown women thinking about such trivial things! And hating to admit that your husband was right when you’d vent to him and he’d say ‘why do you care?’ Haha! Thank you though. It’s nice knowing that what I have to say is seconded and appreciated. Here’s to a fab 2017 for us all. 🙂 x

  • Lizi

    I love that this post is about acceptance of the bloody brilliant person you are. There’s so much out there about what everyone ‘should’ be doing that it’s often forgotten that it’s not a rule and going against the grain isn’t a negative, as everyone is entitled to their own direction. I’m so grateful that we’re on such a similar wavelength of not feeling the need to see anything and everything in the world by a certain age (God knows how everyone else seems to be affording these spontaneous trips to the sodding Maldives) and that actually, being content in what we have is just right for us. xxx

    • crelgey

      Aw Lizi, thank you. 🙂 I love that we are too and look forward to seeing more of you this year! And yes, you’re right. We may all want to look and have things pretty and perfect, but that doesn’t mean that what one person thinks is perfect is the only perfect. Got to staycations. Ireland is high on my list and you know I’ll be coming to you. 🙂 xxx

  • Shelise

    I defo agree we need to love ourselves and be happy with who we are, I love blogging too it can definitely improve your confidence and other bloggers are so nice and uplifting, P.s – i’m not the best at make up either!! lol

    S x | SHELISES WORLD

    • crelgey

      It’s nice knowing people share my feelings. And I agree also, there are some lovely bloggers out there! As females we should all stick together, 🙂 – Thanks for stopping by!

  • Laura

    Oh Caroline I have not been able to read blogs in so long and this is one of the first I have, and it’s just perfect! I have been through exactly the same thing with the whole twenties versus thirties blogger doubts. I wished that I’d started younger. I get frustrated when I can’t get my make up right and can’t take a decent selfie to save my life and UGH FINE LINES that creep into photos!

    …but like you I’ve come to terms with that I am the age I am, and I need to represent that rather than trying to be something I’m not. It felt like a weight was lifted.

    Anyway I’m waffling on writing an essay, so I’ll just say looking forward to reading your blog in 2017!

    Laura xx | Loved By Laura

    • crelgey

      Aw Laura, thank you for commenting and for your thoughts. It’s nice to know that something I felt alone with is something other people have dealt or dealing with. 🙂 It makes me feel bette about writing it down, even more so that it was a completely different direction of post to that I normally write. – Thank you for always popping by and hope to meet again this year. 🙂 xx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *